Humans are social animals. This means that we are dependent, from birth, on another person. We are only what we are today because of everyone who died in our lives, as well as our idols and personalities, who, though dead, had a great influence on our constitution.
However, it seems very clear how important the bonds we forge with others are. However, having relationships does not necessarily mean that they are good relationships. The idea — the goal, in my opinion — is that they have quality.
There is already a lot of evidence indicating that unhealthy relationships can negatively affect health, weakening even the body’s defense system, in addition to its ability to alter the pattern and quality of sleep and increase levels of the so-called stress hormone.
In 2018, scientists found that our friendships are directly linked to our life satisfaction and, in turn, to our mental health. But what they discover is that they are not just friends, but good ones.
Read more: Practicing simplicity means taking care of our mental health
How do you develop a good relationship?
1. Maintaining a good relationship takes work. It is not enough to have connections with someone, to have them at home, or to call them. You must be willing to listen to him, take care of him, and provide support when he needs it. Good attachment means being able to keep each other’s good side and bad side in check. This takes time to build and it takes work.
2. You have to accept that we all have differences and that, yes, the other person will eventually have opinions that are completely opposite to yours. that’s good. By listening and accepting it, you can learn something, broaden your point of view on a topic.
3. Confidentiality. If the idea is to add depth and enhance the traits of your relationships, then you have to put confidentiality on the balance. Because it is part of this “arrangement” that people feel comfortable opening up, acknowledging facts, and talking about their intimate relationship. Without the certainty that what was narrated will remain between the two of you, that relationship is nothing but a group relationship.
4. Honesty is the foundation of any healthy relationship. This means not just not lying, but openly expressing your boundaries, expectations, and needs. In this way, the relationship will be built on transparent foundations and there will be much less chance of it being “spoiled” along the way.
Arthur Guerra, MD, is a professor at the University of the South Pacific’s ABC School of Medicine and co-founder of the Caliandra Saúde Mental Foundation.
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